Jessica Soroky Guest Post #9: Blame Comes Much Easier

I’m currently in the process of applying for a new position. So I sat down and attempted to summarize my last job, the duties and responsibilities I had, and any awards, recognitions, or big accomplishments.

I tried to limit the information to only a paragraph, maybe adding a few bullet points.

When I sat back, I saw a bunch of buzzwords and industry talk, all of which seemed so impersonal.

Nowhere on the resume did it show who I was, just the skills I posses.

Maybe if I went back to the previous job, it would start to feel like me?

I went back seven years, summarizing the long hours, hard work, and accomplishments, but it wasn’t me.

What differentiates my resume from the next is who I am, and I haven’t learned how to translate that on paper. I have a hunch this doesn’t just apply to me, but to all of us.

Even though it felt impersonal and very technical, I knew I had created a sound resume, so I started submitting it to jobs that interested me.

Then the wait began, the wait for evaluation based only on the words enclosed in those few pages.

During the application process, I was often called an anomaly by the companies I talked to, and each time it caused me to stop and wonder what I was doing to attract that sort of response from people.

Of course that same company that pointed out my unique and rare skill set told me they would love to have me on their team but at half the price because of a lack of “real life experience.”

My response was immediate denial of the problem, and then I quickly moved into blame. I love blaming the industry, because they must be all out to get me, right?

When I spend time around my friends or I watch the news, I move more comfortably into actively blaming the generation before me for handing down this horrible job market situation.

I go back and forth from blame to shame, accepting evaluations as truth and letting it live in my head. I have been stuck here for way too long.

I didn’t know how to get out of blame until I sat in a conference full of project managers, leaders, and executives and listened to their reaction as they heard about The Responsibility Process™ and had the same epiphanies I had.

It hit me when one woman turned to her colleague and said, “I wish I would’ve heard this 20 years ago.”

I recently became aware that I’m a control freak and I’m becoming more aware every day how far into every aspect of my life that reaches and causes problems.

I’m also learning from The Responsibility Process that I can’t control the actions of those before me who have played a part in the current job market, but I can choose my response.

Compared to that woman I overheard, I have the chance to not have to make that statement 20 years into my career. I’m done wasting my time in the state of blame.

Instead, I want to make other young professionals aware of the powerful and life-altering messages I’m exposed to and witness that so many others benefit from.

Awareness is the first step.

My new intention is to create a professional development day focused on sharing these epiphanies with high school and college students, and individuals brand new to the industry. I want to invite a whole new generation to raise their awareness to the things that have made me this “anomaly.”

Could you imagine an economy fueled by people who share a common understanding of leadership, integrity, and personal responsibility?

Steve Jobs said, “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you, and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.”

If you don’t like it, change it. Instead of using blame, I’m choosing to change my response, influence others, and help build abundance where I found scarcity.

Keep following my journey that I’m sure will be full of ups and downs to bring to life an epiphany-filled professional development day for the next generation of leaders.

Jessica Soroky, CSM
Only 21 years old, Jessica is already a Certified Scrum Master with two years of practice in agile delivery and team leadership. She is also the youngest participant in the The Leadership Gift™ Program and its growing worldwide community of leaders and coaches. After five years of non-profit development through Nellie’s Catwalk for Kids, Jessica continues her leadership journey in state government, not-for-profit, and private sector leadership studies.

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Posted in Leadership on 11/06/2013 08:11 am
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