On the walk to work early in the morning, the city seems to still be asleep. The streets are empty and it’s so peaceful.

My brain is moving fast, organizing and preparing for the day ahead, before it crashes into a brick wall.

What I call a brick wall Christopher often refers to as something living in your head but not paying rent.

On this particular day, the brick wall had graffiti all over it. Hateful, mean, unfounded words and sentences about my journey, my career, and my ethical standing.

The colorful artwork of comments that had been said to me by a few different people over a length of time continued to build and build before I couldn’t take it anymore.

Instead of exploding like I wanted to, I took a deep breath and realized I had let these comments get to me – but why?

At the perfect moment, the music I was listening to switched to the next song and Rob Thomas’ lyrics rang deep in my head.

“Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don’t you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only remember how it feels”

I was reminded of a special module Christopher teaches in The Leadership Gift Program – Clearing and Releasing.

In the second part of the module he talks about clarity as an understanding of clear definitions and correct information as well as removing obstructions and inaccurate knowledge.

I was stuck on the words that were being used against me. I began to wonder how many times a day we abuse words without actually knowing the definition or meaning?

A word that seems to be popular right now is “ethical” or “ethics.” I decided to get clarity on the word and look up the definition to help me let go and release the problem I was holding on to.

According to Merriam-Webster,“ethics” are moral principles that govern a person’s or group’s behavior.

Immediately I jumped to the assumption that “unethical” would simply mean people without morals to govern them.

Nope – I don’t want to assume. The same dictionary told me clearly, the correct definition for unethical is not morally correct.

I had always thought of ethics as an unspoken set of rules we have been taught to follow, that being unethical meant I was breaking one of these agreements, which would in turn mean I had low integrity.

Just the thought of that throws me into a mindset of shame.

I know I have morals that govern me. Those morals are incorporated into everything I do and make up a lot of what I am studying in my leadership journey.

Now that I understood what the words meant, it was clear to me that the comments were simply wrong.

Instead of giving away my power and being affected by their words, I realized that unkind comments say more about that person than about me.

I was able to clear up the comments made to me by clearing one word at a time – after truly understanding its definition.

My stretch this week is to not pass by a word if I don’t fully understand it, and I want to practice speaking very purposefully and accurately.

Let it go — let your clarity define you.

Jessica Soroky, CSM

Only 21 years old, Jessica is already a Certified Scrum Master with two years of practice in agile delivery and team leadership. She is also the youngest participant in The Leadership Gift™ Program and its growing worldwide community of leaders and coaches. After five years of non-profit development through Nellie’s Catwalk for Kids, Jessica continues her leadership journey in state government, not-for-profit, and private sector leadership studies.