Kimchi’s story: Learning to Live Life Loud

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We’re sharing your stories. More on that below. First, here’s another compelling one…

Live Life Loud! Kimchi Pursues, Finds, and Spreads Freedom

“FREEDOM is very important to me. I would sacrifice my life, wealth, marriage, and status for freedom.

“You see, in my Asian culture, the word “responsibility” often equates to “duty” or “obligation”.  To be “responsible” means to do the “right” thing, which most of the time is the thing that my parents and others expected of me.  

“For the longest time, I operated my life from the point of view of “duty” and “obligation” as a wife, a mom, and a daughter. Because of that I often felt powerless — an Asian woman who has no voice in her life.

“I was attracted to The Leadership Gift Program because of these words:

  • Responsibility,
  • Power,
  • Freedom, and
  • Choice,

“Why? Because I could not figure out how to be responsible and still have the freedom and choice to do what I want to do, instead of doing only the things I am obligated to do.

“By developing my Responsibility practice over time (shout out to Christopher Avery and The Leadership Gift community!) I now recognize that I have the freedom, power, and choice to align completely with who I am and what I stand for.

“It’s liberating!  and this is the core message of my podcast “Asian Women of Power” ~ Live Life Loud! My life mission is to empower Asian American and Asian women around the world to LIVE LIFE LOUD, by

  • speaking up for their truth,
  • standing up for their rights, and
  • showing up for what they believe in.

“Here’s a tiny taste of how I got here…

“After the communists took away my parents business and incarcerated us,  I barely escaped from Vietnam with my life and came to the USA as a refuge. That was the late 1970s.

“Later, I was fortunate to marry my husband. His parents had money and they were kind, yet very traditional — i.e., even adult children don’t answer back to parents! Even though I was comfortable financially, I did not feel free in my marriage while my parents-in-law were alive. I was not able to speak up or share my views.

“Eventually, I gave up trying to change their perspectives. As you would expect, I became resentful, because everything I did around them was out of obligation.

“Through a lot of study, teachers, and hard work, I’ve freed myself from all of that. And today I help other Asian and Asian American women to free themselves too.

“When I look back on my journey, the areas that have given me the greatest breakthroughs include

  • Forgiveness,
  • Acceptance, and
  • Letting Go.

“I’ve forgiven

  • myself,
  • my husband,
  • my in-laws,
  • my father,
  • the Vietnamese Communists, and,
  • people who have hurt me emotionally or who took advantage of me financially.

 “Married now for thirty-five years, I have two adult children, ages thirty-one and twenty-nine, who are born in America. I know what it feels like to be stuck between American (Western) culture and Asian (Eastern) culture. I now understand different perspectives as a

  • mom (and soon to be a mother-in-law),
  • daughter and daughter-in-law,
  • wife,
  • professional woman, and
  • entrepreneur.

“I accept my humanity to experience Lay Blame, Justify, Shame, Obligation and Quit (as a natural part of The Responsibility Process) when things go wrong. I have practiced Responsibility for more than two years now. When I accepted that this is a part of being human, I gained compassion toward myself and others.

“I feel compassion especially with Asian women who want to do the right thing for themselves and for the next generation. Through my podcast, I am able to reach Asian women all over the world. Today I am honored to be a teacher, coach, and leader for Asian women.

Kimchi“I have developed the knowledge, experience, and tools that can help other Asian women experience freedom, power, and choice, while still honoring their heritage.

“I’ve earned the right to say LIVE LIFE LOUD!”

Kimchi Chow, Host, Asian Women of Power Podcast
San Jose, California, USA

You inspire Kimchi. Thank you for your demonstration of freedom.

Listen to Kimchi Chow’s gripping life story and lessons on the Asian Women of Power podcast episode titled How Did I Get Here? Kimchi’s is an inspiring story of early family trauma, separation, loss, escape, resilience, growth, and service. Your listening will be well-rewarded.

Share one of your stories

It could be a story about…

  • overcoming an obstacle;
  • gaining newfound freedom, choice, or power;
  • getting unstuck;
  • discovering what you truly want; or even,
  • about how The Responsibility Process has made your life better.

(No, your story does not have to feature The Responsibility Process or any other model or teacher.)

We want stories about you — or your observing others — demonstrating responsibility and self-leadership that shows

  • inspiring intention (“we can do this”),
  • mindful awareness (“oh, what if we look at it this way”), and/or
  • the courage to confront reality (“I will stand at the edge of my comfort zone.”)

Or it could be an aha! moment where you realize that your Responsibility practice has paid off, as in Gabriel’s story above.


So more people can be inspired to understand and own their incredible ability to respond.


It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

1. Write and edit your story. Keep it concise. Ask a friend to help you edit and proof it.

2. Submit your story to

3. Tell us how you would like your story to be attributed if chosen. For instance:

  • Christopher Avery PhD, The Responsibility Process guy, Austin, TX USA (LinkedIn);
  • Christopher, Agile Coach, USA;
  • Anonymous

A more specific and complete attribution adds spice and believability to your story. If possible, include a snapshot of yourself or your subject looking free, powerful, and at choice.

book cover 3DOur thank-you gift

If your story is chosen, we will publish it in a weekly story blog post, and you will receive a signed copy of Christopher’s book The Responsibility Process: Unlocking Your Natural Ability to Live and Lead with Power.

Want to change your life? Join us for the next cohort of The Leadership Gift Program starting on April 5, 2019.

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Want to receive these stories in your inbox? Download Christopher’s Top 10 Resources for Mastering Responsibility and we’ll add you to our news and announcement list.

Read The Responsibility Process in paperback or on Kindle or iBooksContact us to order in volume for your event, book club, or class. 

Christopher Avery headshotChristopher Avery, PhD, “The Responsibility Process guy”, founded The Leadership Gift™ Program to make world-class personal leadership development accessible to individuals worldwide. His books include The Responsibility Process and Teamwork Is An Individual Skill.

Posted in Responsibility on 03/24/2019 04:54 am
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