The Opportunity to Practice – Leadership is a Choice #20

Jessica Soroky continues her series Leadership is a Choice.


“Your entire career is based on luck…”

“If it weren’t for me, you would be stuck in a cubicle somewhere.”

“You’re doing good right now, but imagine what you could do if you played the game; the right mentor here could help you with the politics.”

“You will really take off when you finish your degree…”

“You’re 22, what the hell do you know?”

“One day you will be beaten down like the rest of us.”

I wish I could tell you these are only things said in movies to cause drama. I wish I could tell you that these were things I used to hear, that these weren’t all said to me within the last two to three weeks. I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell you that because it’s not true

Why share this? I am remembering, typing, and sharing them with you because I am selfish and it helps me process without going to a place of shame; it helps me confront and keeps them from becoming wrong indications.

Last week I wrote about my most powerful breakthrough: the realization that every part of my reality is there because I created, chose, or attracted it. So when I looked at these statements replaying in my head I followed that same logic: these statements must have been something I attracted.

Why would I want to attract statements like that? Statements that shoot through me like bullets, tearing apart my confidence and creating an opportunity for me to give my power away.

Better yet, why would I allow them to tear me down, to break my stride. Why above all else would I allow me to doubt myself?

It doesn’t matter why I attracted it, none of the “why’s” matter. All that matters is if I will choose to believe them or not, if I will choose to give my power away and stop my own momentum. Will I choose to limit myself?

There was a time when I would believe them instantly; I would take them and curl up in a ball and live in shame with them. That time is, thankfully, long gone.

The next phase was a desire to defend myself against these statements. I fought until I couldn’t fight anymore to get the person who said them to agree that they weren’t true.

Now there is today. I can’t get them to do anything. If they said those things then they believe it on some level and it is true for them. That doesn’t mean it has to be true for me.

I know me and I know that I hold all of my power.

I’ve been in their shoes; I have been the attacker and said extremely hurtful things too. I’ve even believed that I was being helpful when in reality I wasn’t. I was in a place of such uncertainty and intimidation by another’s power that my only response was to try and tear them down, to project on them my own insecurities. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.

Today I want to acknowledge all those who made comments for giving me the opportunity to really dig in and practice.

While taking a deep breath, I am going to claim the win that I am free from the shackles of shame that only I used to place on myself.

I am grateful for every opportunity I have to practice my ability to choose, to believe in me, and to harness my power.

Thank you, to all of you, for this opportunity and for giving me the gift of more fuel for my fire.


Jessica Soroky, CSM

IMG_3285Jessica is a Certified Scrum Master with over three years of practice in agile delivery and seven years of team leadership. She is also the youngest participant in The Leadership Gift™ Program and its growing worldwide community of leaders and coaches. After five years of non-profit development through Nellie’s Catwalk for Kids, Jessica continues her leadership journey in state government, not-for-profit, and private sector leadership studies.


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Posted in Responsibility on 07/13/2015 01:04 am
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