Guest Post by Mark Roberts

Christopher Avery here. With pleasure I welcome Mark Roberts again to this blog. Mark is in management in a security services company in London, England. He shares a love for responsible leadership. Read more about Mark at the end of this post. Enjoy.

Last Friday evening, I was relaxing and looking back at the week that had just passed.

As I reflected on my actions and attitudes towards others, I was thinking about the way I acted within my working environment and how and why the week could have been better.

I suddenly realized that although I may be full of advice for others — with my best intentions at heart — I steer toward compliance with regards to my advice.

Eureka, it suddenly hit me: “The Control Cycle.” I’ve been leading from a place of control over others instead of looking at the real problems. I was the problem.

You see, trying to be excellent is different than trying to be perfect. I have such high expectations of myself that I’ve been trying to control people.

I have been trying to — but can’t — control others to commit to excellence, so operating from The Control Cycle is the main reason I’ve found myself stuck.

Trying to control others keeps me “below the line” of Responsibility — it keeps me in a place of Justification.

I’m trying to Justify to myself why I’m trying to be perfect, which keeps others in a place of Obligation. This gives others the opportunity to control my emotions due to my own expectations of them in the pursuit of perfection.

If others feel obligated, then they are operating from a place of “I have to” rather than a place of “I want to.” This means they are not reaching a place of Responsibility and therefore keep me in The Control Cycle rather than reaching an authentic excellence.

Choosing The Power Cycle (editor: next Monday’s post will introduce The Power Cycle. Stay tuned) over The Control Cycle gives me the opportunity to be my authentic self. By choosing power within my own The Responsibility Process™, it brings clarity and trust, which brings me back to operating from a place of responsible power.

This power is a place of Responsibility because it highlights The Three Keys to achieving my desired goals within me and my team:

• my Intention to get to Responsibility every time
• Awareness — to become more aware of your mental position in The Responsibility Process
• to Confront myself — to be willing to see things as they are.

If we pursue perfection over being our authentic selves, it stops us from pursuing authentic excellence. This, I’ve come to realize, just causes problems, and it’s with any problem that we then find ourselves in a place to choose: The Control Cycle or The Power Cycle.

We all face pressure in our working environment and we inadvertently can add pressure to ourselves, but this doesn’t give us the right to control others — especially as it brings us below the line.

We may demand more from others, but we shouldn’t until we demand authenticity from ourselves.

The high expectations of myself can’t be achieved until I look at The Three Keys more often, and it’s only then that I can truly learn to be authentic.

Excellence isn’t about trying to be perfect; excellence starts with just being authentic.

With various managerial and directorial positions over the past 15 years, Mark Roberts is the Installation Manager for a large security company. He leads his team in the core private sectors of his industry in London.

He’s an active member of the Cultural Change Committee and a registered volunteer for several charities. Mark joined The Leadership Gift™ Program in 2014.