Desiree Purvis writes:

Your tip on how to stop laying blame has been really useful – thinking back I’m staggered at how much “it got out” prior to your tip!

Q: Can I give myself points for taking responsibility AFTER griping about something?

Example: While clearing my e-mails on returning to the office from Xmas I came across an e-mail communication about an upcoming event for our industry.  I had expected another colleague to have communicated this internally as they are on the working committee, but forwarded it to my peer group anyway.  I discovered that they weren’t aware of it, which is what had happened on a previous occasion. After grumbling to myself I read your tip and I realised that I couldn’t expect this person to take action I expected of them; I hadn’t communicated with them and I was making a vast assumption.  However, I had all the information to hand.  I made a decision to publish the event on our company’s event calendar myself and, when RSVPing, offered to publish it externally on discussion boards I am a member of, which was accepted.  It only took a few minutes to do – less time than what I spent grumbling about it!

I wrote back. “Of course. Becoming aware and confronting yourself (owning up) anytime is worth points.”