Guest Post by Mark Roberts

Christopher Avery here. With pleasure I welcome Mark Roberts to this blog. Mark is in management in a security services company in London, England. He shares a love for responsible leadership. Read more about Mark at the end of this post. Enjoy.

We’ve all done it — I know I have. Over the years, I’ve found myself hiding from one thing or another, looking to escape the paradox of my choices in my mind.

I’ve been falling “below the line” of Responsibility, going through all of the stages of The Responsibility Process™, but that is now beginning to change.

Since joining The Leadership Gift™ Program, I’ve begun to learn that hiding from the place of responsibility is like hiding from yourself. You can’t — the only true thing you can do is own it.

Rather than trying to escape the unknown, I now choose to try and understand my reality. This has got to be better than trying to hide from it.

For too long I’ve been in Denial or even Lay Blame as to the state of my reality.

I want to blame someone, but the reality is that I can’t blame anyone – my reality is being created by my actions and choices.

Once I realized that I couldn’t blame my reality on anyone other than myself, I jumped straight to Shame, beating myself up because I didn’t feel I had control of my own reality.

Control here is the key word in a lot of respects, because it’s when we have a sense of no control that we look to hide. I know I have. I’ve been searching for answers to satisfy my mind when the justification I seek is out of my control.

When we feel in control, we feel a sense of power. But at what cost? You can’t have superficial power if you’re not taking responsibility for your reality.

And that’s all it basically is, a fake reasoning in my mind to strengthen me when in all truthfulness it just weakens me.

I’ve been searching and evaluating my reality to gain a sense power when all this time I’ve been falling below the line.

Even “Quitting” a situation doesn’t remove the situation. It may bring a short relief, but ultimately it all still boils down to one thing: owning your choices.

I can’t run from my reality. I can’t hide from my reality for it’s my reality and mine alone, but I can have freedom, power, and choices over it.

My goal from now on is to avoid hiding or running and instead to confront and reshape situations.

The Leadership Gift Program has not only provided me with the tools in identifying this, it’s enabling me to take ownership of my reality, to shape it and confront all that I need to keep me in a place of true responsibility, self awareness and freedom.

To your freedom, power, and choice.

With various managerial and directorial positions over the past 15 years, Mark Roberts is the Installation Manager for a large security company. He leads his team in the core private sectors of his industry in London.

He’s an active member of the Cultural Change Committee and a registered volunteer for several charities. Mark joined The Leadership Gift™ Program in 2014.