Leaders who are relatively new to learning about the mind's internal Responsibility Process™ often ask: "What about the person who is too responsible?" One such question landed recently after I co-presented a webinar with Zach Nies (VP Products, Rally Software) called The Best Kept Secret of Agile Software Quality. Our message was that quality is a 3-legged stool of process,...

The question usually rolls out like a plea for help: What does the Responsibility Process say about someone who takes on too much? I think I’m too responsible because I take on more and more even though I can’t handle more.

Because I can be a little slow, it took me years to figure out that the very best response from me was a probing question. I now reply with “Why do you take on too much?” I now predict with better than 90% accuracy what the leader will say: No one else stepped up and I felt bad it wasn’t going to get done, so I had to do something.

Last week in Mexico a CIO courageously told me and the roomful of people I had just introduced to Responsibility Redefined™ that my presentation showed him the way to freedom from his shame. Out of respect, I won't tell you which presentation in which city (I addressed four groups in three days), but here's his story... I'll repeat his words...